Clueless
by southparkfan1998
Summary: A lifesized version of Cluedo - Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Craig, Wendy and Bebe, are all on Spring Break and decide to take a vacation to Uncle Jimbo's friend's villa/run down hotel up in the mountains. However, when things begin to go horribly wrong, the group realises that there may be a killer amongst them, but who could it be? Clueless?
1. Author Note

**Note from the author:**

**Hi guys, firstly, thank you so much for all your lovely and inspiring messages at the end of my last book, I was reading them on holiday and it made me so happy :* Yes, I am kind of sad that 'Everything Changes' is over and maybe in the future I will write another book in that series, I had some ideas actually ;) But all in good time, here's to another approach.**

**I have had exams for the past few months, so haven't had time to write due to revision. But now I only have two more exams left for this year; Geography and R.E., so I'm sure there'll be much more fanfiction from me in the months to come. **

**So anyway, I have been focused on two different books, both about South Park (obviously), which are completely different to the books I have previously written. The first one I had an idea about is called 'Clueless', which is basically a group of the SP characters going to a hotel in the mountains for spring break. The reason why it has this name is because it's kind of built on the board game 'Cluedo', apart from it's a life sized version, like reality, apart from they don't know this, which is why they're clueless. (The name is my favourite part!). This is kind of a horror genre but at the same time I've tried to incorporate humour, to keep it running along the lines of South Park. For some people who have read my previous books, this may not be your thing, if so, I'm sorry and I guess you will have to take a break from my books for now. If you do like it, I hope you enjoy it!**

**The second one is based on my own pov, some things that I have experienced myself, but writing from Wendy's point of view. This is a book, 'Unhappy', I didn't think would get as many views or comments because it may not be something others can relate to. It's basically about Wendy and Bebe's friendship, based on my friendship with someone in real life, but at the same time, it has South Park running through its veins! Even so, I wrote the first chapter of this and decided to leave it for a while, at least until I had finished writing 'Clueless', because seeing as I haven't been writing recently, I didn't want to instantly bore you with my most recent update. So that book's on hold.**

**Just a quick other thing as well, I have come up with ideas for books, which aren't based on fanfictions, I have two ideas for these, one about an orphan who lets a balloon go with her number inside and her parents find it, (very coincidental I know). And the other is about a child whose parents are killed in a car crash when she is very young and so gets handed over to a hospital to do a medical experiment where she live a virtual life. Blah blah... However, I don't know whether to convert these to a form of TV show/book characters, so I can post it on fanfiction or whether anyone knew any other sites I can post my own ideas onto. Please help! **

**So all in all, I guess this was just a note to say, I am back, what books I am writing and what I've been up to. How have all you guys been, drop me a PM if you have time and if you have any feedback I'd be happy to hear it!**

**Glad to be back,**

**From Hannah (southparkfan1998) xx**


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

I glanced up at the clock that was on the wall, directly in front of me. It was midnight, the exact time I had wanted this to be finished. The last body lay still, ridged in front of me, its glassy eyes staring into nothingness. The victim's skin was pale, lifeless, cold as stone. I liked it that way, knowing that I had caused that pain, knowing that I had caused that sadness, that death. I laid down my weapon by the body and admired the scene in front of me. There was now a body lying in every room, each killed with a different weapon, a different death. The clock was still ticking, as if it were struggling to get its words out, wanting to turn me in, but I just smiled up at it. Soon enough the truth would be out anyway, everyone would know it was me who had done all this, but I didn't care, I had done what had needed to be done. They could do whatever they liked with me now, torture me, kill me, lock me up forever and ever, but that wouldn't matter because they couldn't bring back the lives that were already lost. Everyone was dead now... They were all dead...


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Are we nearly there, dad?" Stan Marsh cried. It was the first March of college and him and his friends Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman were on their way to a hotel in the Mountains of Colorado for spring break. The hotel was previous ownership of Stan's Uncle Jimbo, which had now been passed down to one of his friends, who was letting the teenagers use it for two weeks. There, the boys would meet their other friends from college; Butters Stotch, Wendy Testaburger, Clyde Donovan, Craig Tucker, Bebe Stevens, Token Black and Tweek Tweak, who would also be staying with them for spring break.

"Yeah, we've been driving for ages." Kyle whined. "How far into the mountains _is_ this place?"

"Pretty far, it's very secluded up here but it will give you lots of privacy." Randy told them, he was Stan's father and tended to drive the boys wherever they wanted to go, even though both Stan and Kyle could drive.

"Ugh, hurry up, I need to piss." Cartman yelled from the back seat. He always seemed to have a problem with everything; it was his way of being the centre of attention.

"Well, hold it in." Randy looked into the wing mirror, to see the fat boy squirming in his seat. "I don't want it going in the car, not after the last incident."

"Hey!" Cartman shouted. "First off, that happened two years ago and second of all, that corndog did not agree with my stomach!"

"Yeah, we should have brought the nappies with us!" Kyle scoffed.

"Packed!" Stan cried from the front seat and Cartman elbowed Kyle hard in the ribs.

"Shut up Jew." He spat. "No one finds Jewish jokes funny, especially if they're ginger."

"I found it funny." Kenny mumbled from under his thick, orange parka. He kept his coat wrapped around his mouth all the time, so his speech was muffled, but his friends could still understand him.

"You don't count, you poor piece of shit." Cartman snapped, he often got into these moods, where he began to downgrade people for the tiniest little thing. Most people would think it was hormones, but Cartman had been like this ever since he was a kid. "How are you affording this trip anyway? We all had to pitch in thirty bucks for maintenance."

"I saved up my allowance." He muffled and Cartman let out a gush of laughter.

"Haha, my mum paid for me to come, even though I didn't tidy my room." He jeered. "She even bought me a month's supply of popcorn, which I'm not sharing with anyone."

"A month?" Stan frowned. "But we're only here for two weeks."

"Dude, have you seen Cartman?" Kyle sniggered. "He could eat a year's supply of popcorn in one day!"

"Already have." Cartman preened and Kyle raised his eyebrows.

"It's not something to be proud of." He shook his head and Cartman elbowed him again.

"At least I can finish a bowl of soup within two hours." He hissed.

"Hey!" Kyle exclaimed. "It had green bits floating in it."

"Still food..." Cartman shrugged.

"Fatso." Kyle argued.

"Jew." He replied and they began slapping each other as if they were back in third grade.

"Ok boys!" Randy yelled. "We're here." The car pulled into a long driveway, with iron gates either side. There was a large fountain in the courtyard and behind lay the massive white-brick building they would be staying in.

"Wow!" All four boys gasped as they admired the building in front of them. The hotel was four stories tall and eight windows wide, there were also a few windows embedded into the rooftop. There were some other cars already here, Stan could see his girlfriend, Wendy, getting out of the car with her best friend Bebe. Wendy's dad was unpacking their bright pink suitcases from the trunk, whilst both girls chattered on their phones and ran nail files over their finger tips. In the car next to them, Tweek and Craig could be seen sitting in the back seat. Tweek looked as if he was unsure about getting out of the car and Craig, his boyfriend was trying to persuade him to move. The other car had Clyde Donovan leaning up against its shiny black surface, he had driven here himself and was also talking on the phone. He was wearing a pair of dark shades, which he did not need, late March in the midst of the Colorado mountains but was the sort of boy who would attempt to look cool, whatever the weather. Butters and Token could not be seen and so clearly had not arrived yet. Kyle watched as Bebe approached Clyde and kissed him on the cheek, Kyle bit his lip in jealousy.

"Don't let it bother you Kyle." Stan turned to face his best friend. "I told you, it's just a crush, it'll go away."

"Yeah, yeah." Kyle sighed and batted his hand in the air.

"Oooh!" Cartman sneered. "Does ickle Kyle have a crushy on someone way out of his league?"

"Shut up, wet pants." Kyle pointed down to where a wet patch was forming in Cartman's pants, he looked startled and jumped out of the car. The fat lump then raced over to the fountain, pulled down his pants and began to pee, without any concern for others. "Ugh, besides." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Bebe's not out of my league, I could have her if I wanted."

"Yeah." Kenny muttered. "Like _you_ could beat Clyde."

"I could..." Kyle started. "Eh, who am I kidding?" The three remaining boys stepped out of the car and Stan opened up the trunk, the three of them gasped when they saw that the boot was full of bagged popcorn and Cartman, who now felt relieved, ran over to where they were standing.

"My popcorn, my popcorn, my popcorn, mine all mine!" He was yelling and gathered up all the bags he could carry. He unfolded the wheel barrow he had also brought with him and began piling in his month's supply of sugar.

"And we really have to spend two weeks with him?" Kyle asked the other two sane boys and they both nodded.

"Unfortunately." Stan sighed, closed the trunk and began to walk towards the house.

"Hey Stan?" Randy yelled. "Aren't you going to say goodbye to me? After driving you all the way up here?"

"Oh yeah... sure." Stan rolled his eyes and walked towards his father.

"Here." Randy whispered and handed his son a large carrier bag.

"What's this?" Stan asked.

"Oh just some things to tide you over." He smiled and Stan inspected the inside of the bag.

"Wow cool, beer and cigarettes." Stan exclaimed and Randy held a finger to his lips.

"Shh, don't let the other parents know!" He patted Stan on the back. "If you need anything else, there's a convenience store nearby, it should be pretty easy to find. There may not be much connection up here, so if you need to call us, they have a phone there you can use, or the landline in the hotel may work."

"Thanks dad." Stan smiled and they gave each other a 'safe' handshake before Randy got back into the car and drove off. The other cars seemed to follow suit, Butters and Token had now arrived and Token's expensive BMW was the last to pull out of the gate, before the iron doors closed behind them. The eleven teenagers stood outside the hotel, Wendy came and wrapped her arms around Stan's neck and they stayed there until no more car engines could be heard.

"So, I guess I'll let us all in." Stan said brightly and he pushed the iron key, firmly into the large lock in the double doors. It clicked satisfyingly and he then pushed open one of the steel doors. Everyone stepped inside and stared down the long, polished hallway that was laid before them.

"Wow." They all exclaimed and Stan turned to give orders.

"Ok, there's eighty six rooms in this place, so there's plenty for everyone." He explained. "However, me and Wendy are gonna be sharing a room anyway and I'm guessing Craig and Tweek, you will be too."

"Yep." Craig nodded and everyone giggled. Bebe looked up at Clyde and he nodded with no hesitation.

"Yey!" She gave a little jump. "Yeah, me and Clyde will share too." Everyone seemed completely normal about this, except for Kyle who let out an exasperated 'ugh', which only Stan heard.

"...Ok, so I suggest everyone sticks on the first two floors, so that we are not too far apart. My uncle says we can't go up into the attic anyway so that just leaves us four floors to explore." Stan quipped.

"Oh yeah, listen to what he says." Cartman sneered. "Baby."

Stan just raised his eyebrows and said; "he _is_ renting us the place, Cartman."

"So where's the kitchen, where we can have all the_ partay's_!" Token sassed.

"Oh, there's plenty of kitchen's and dining rooms and lounging areas, all through here." Stan continued and lead them through the big wooden double doors, they opened to a massive room with a marble floor and a large, red rug in the middle. At the front of the room lay a big fireplace, with a huge, antique clock above it. Windows were running all the way across one wall, whereas doors were running along the other. There were two other doors either side of the fire place. "Through those doors, you'll find the kitchen and the theatre."

"Theatre?" Clyde gasped and Stan nodded.

"Yep, this place is pretty upstate." He preened.

"Well... That'll be good for all the live sex shows we'll be putting on." Butters bashed his knuckles together and giggled to himself. Everyone looked at him weirdly and he looked up to notice the expression on other people's faces. "Oh come on... That was pretty good, for me."

"...Anyway." Stan sighed. "Through these doors are other rooms, such as the dining room, guest house, living room, ballroom and spa."

"Spa?" Bebe and Wendy both repeated in unison.

"Ballroom?" Tweek exclaimed. "This is so posh."

"Oh yeah and I almost forgot, the observatory is the last door on the right. No one's allowed in there either apparently, but I'm sure we'll end up going everywhere once we're drunk!" Stan joked. "And through the kitchen is the patio, it has a pool and everything."

"Wow, this is going to be so awesome!" Kyle cheered.

"And you'd be a hot tour guide." Wendy kissed Stan on the lips and everyone watched intently.

"...Ok, well, let's get to it then!" Craig cried and everyone began to move about.

"Let's choose rooms!" People began to yell and all the students ran out of the room, leaving it empty, with only the clock to make noise. Except for one person who remained...


	4. Chapter 2

_We've arrived and everyone seems extremely excited, I just can't wait to wreck that. The house is massive and it has so many rooms, and to think; this is the place where everyone will take their last breaths. It makes me laugh, how they have no idea, how they do not know what is going to happen. But I do, I've been planning this for ages and no one is going to stop me..._

"Dude, get out of my room!" Kyle yelled, the teenagers were four hours into their holiday and already there were arguments amongst them. "Cartman get out!"

"No." Cartman sneered. "I'm not leaving until you say it!"

"I'm not saying it!" Kyle retorted.

"Well then I'm not leaving." He sulked and sat on the bed.

"Ugh, you're leaving a dent in my mattress." Kyle moaned and tried to pull Cartman up but he wasn't moving. "Ok fine. Cartman rocks, Kyle sucks, Jew's do not have rhythm."

"Sing it properly!" Cartman spat.

"That was properly." Kyle argued.

"See, Jew's can't sing, Jew's can't dance, Jew's do not have rhythm!" Cartman sang and then left the room.

"Woah, hey Cartman." Stan bumped into him when he was on his way into Kyle's room.

"Bye Stan." Cartman gave him the finger and then walked off down the hall.

"Hey dude, having fun?" Stan asked.

"Not really, just having pointless arguments with fatass." He shrugged and Stan sat down on his bed.

"Well, we found this bonfire set up in the garden." Stan told him. "We thought in about an hour we'd light it and then sit out and relax."

"Ok, but is that safe?" Kyle questioned and Stan raised his eyebrows.

"Dude, we're gonna be getting pissed, high and dangerous this holiday." Stan laughed. "I don't think lighting a fire is gonna do any damage!" He stood up and high fived Kyle before heading out.

Downstairs Wendy, Bebe and Token were checking out the other rooms in the house;

"Seriously, I need to know what this spa looks like." Bebe exclaimed and pulled open the door to a bright blue room, with hot tub, sauna, steam room and various different beauty products lining the walls.

"Wow." Wendy gasped. "This is going to be more than a vacation!"

"Totally." Bebe twirled her hair round her finger. "Just think, all those days of lying around the pool outside or bathing in this hot tub."

"And the water will be so much warmer with Stan and Clyde inside!" Wendy giggled and they high-fived each other.

"Totally." Bebe nodded and Token shook his head.

"Seriously..." He sighed. "What are girls like?" He then walked away, leaving the girls to whisper between themselves.

* * *

"Ok everybody, the bonfire's lit." Craig called, he was the most daring of them all and so had been the one nominated to light the fire. People began to gather round the fire and toast marshmallows.

When eventually everybody was sitting down, Kenny stood up and muffled "To the best spring break ever!" He held up his glass and everybody else yelled 'cheers!' They all then then burst into fits of laughter and sat down to enjoy the vacation ahead of them.

**Monday.**

Clyde awoke to a loud ringing sound on his bedside table, he looked over and saw that Bebe's phone was vibrating vigorously. He reached out his arm to the other side of him, but noticed Bebe was not there.

"Ugh." He groaned. "Bebe? You're phones going off."

"Oh." She cried from the en-suite bathroom. "Yeah you can just click that off, it's only an alarm." Clyde rolled his eyes and exhaustedly picked up Bebe's phone, it took him a while for his eyes to focus on the screen but he eventually saw a little clock symbol flashing on and off, with the words 'paint nails' written by it. He sighed and rolled over once he had put the phone down again. The bathroom door burst open and Bebe walked out, wrapped in a towel, her hair in rollers and her bright blue nails looked freshly painted. Clyde sat up suddenly and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to look as sexy as possible.

"Hey baby." He winked and Bebe rolled her eyes.

"Hi honey." She replied exasperatedly. "Last night was a lot of fun." It was her turn to wink then and she flopped forward onto his chest.

"Want a little replay?" Clyde smothered her and she mumbled. However, along the corridor, things were a lot less sprightly.

"Oh come on you guys, why did you do it?" Kyle was yelling. "I mean, I know fatass is always as bad, but Butters, you shouldn't let him threaten you into everything. Do you really want to be his sidekick?"

"Erm... Well I dunno Kyle." Butters stuttered. He was still as pathetic as always, even though he was in college now. "It's kind of hard to say no to Eric... You erm... Never know when he could squash you. All it takes is-"

"Oh cut it out!" Kyle sighed. "Cartman couldn't 'squash' you, you've got to cut him a little slack-"

"Ok, here we go." Cartman interrupted and without warning, slammed his body weight down on Kyle, who was sitting on the bed.

"Oww! Ow, ok, ok yes you could crush someone, I believe you!" Kyle screeched. Butters looked startled, as did Stan and Wendy who had just ran into the room.

"Hey, what's going on?" Stan looked confused, he was wearing a navy robe and Wendy had her hair in a towel.

"Cartman and Butters squirted cheese sauce up my nose, whilst I was sleeping and then Cartman sat on me." Kyle snapped.

"Oh thank God, that's cheese sauce." Wendy grinned. "I was about to make a point about why you weren't sharing a room with someone else." Kyle glared at her and wiped his face on his pyjama top. "Oh yeah, cute PJ's, I hear koala bears are really in right now!" She lightly punched his arm but stopped when he shot her a glance.

"Shut up, my mom packed..." Kyle sighed.

"Did she not trust you?"Stan joked but Kyle just looked pained. "What?"

"Nothing... I just think Cartman crushed all the bones in my leg." He moaned and then glared at Cartman. "With his fat ass."

"Hey. I am not fat, I'm big boned." He whined.

"Still telling yourself that?" Wendy raised her eyebrows and walked over to the window. "Hey, fresh snow has fallen."

"Aren't you used to it?" Stan replied, walking over to join her.

"Well yeah, but it's really thick up here." She told him. "We better be careful, don't want to get snowed in."

"We won't." Stan confirmed. "Dad said there's a phone in the reception room and a convenience store nearby if we need anything."

"Cell phones?" Wendy suggested and Stan pulled out his phone.

"No service." He smiled. "No surprise really."

* * *

"Ok you guys, b... breakfast's ready." Tweek called from the kitchen, he had made bacon sandwiches for everyone and fruit salad for the girls who were likely to stay away from any meat products all holiday. As the group began to gather round the table, the discussion about what they would do today began. There was not much to do up in the mountains, the house was big enough to cater for many fun and games but to the teenagers, that mainly just meant drinking their weight in vodka, polluting the cool mountain air with tobacco and covering the carpets in vomit.

"We could g...go sledging?" Tweek suggested, twitching slightly as he said so.

"Dude, what are you in eighth grade?" Clyde sniggered but Butters just stood and tapped his knuckles together.

"Oh come on fellas... Sledging sounds fun!" He energised, but stared at the floor whilst saying it.

"Yeah, that's because if you were at home now, you'd be watching re-runs of my little pony." Craig chortled and Clyde gave him a 'safe' high-five.

"Ok, lay off now guys." Stan sighed. "We need to seriously come up with something to do today, otherwise this vacations gonna be kind of dull."

"Well me and Tweek are going sledging, whether you like it or not." Butters argued.

"Wow." Kyle raised his eyebrows. "That's an improvement."

"You told me to be more independant." Butters told him.

"No, I just said stay away from fat ass." Kyle pointed out.

"Hey." Cartman snapped. "You sut it with the name jokes, or I'll kick you in the nuts."

"Go ahead, hurt me." Kyle shrugged.

"Oh, you'll see." Cartman muttered and there was a silence.

"Well, why don't we just check out the rest of the house, chill here for a while?" Wendy shrugged.

"I know what you're hinting!" Bebe grinned.

"Spa day!" They both chorused and Token put his hand to his head.

"Yeah yeah, I'm gonna have my headphones on the entire time." Token rolled his eyes.

"And I'll lie there, checking people out with no suit on." Kenny mumbled and Wendy shot him a weird glance.

"Please don't." She ordered and Stan put his arm around her.

"I wouldn't worry, he wouldn't take his parka off for a million bucks." Stan smiled.

"Yeah, that's because you'd be intimidated by what's under it." Kenny muffled again and there was another silence whilst this thought got processed in everyone's heads.

"Anyway, let's hit the pool!" Kyle cheered, breaking the silence and everyone began to run to their rooms. All but one person, who stood there watching them go, once again.


	5. Chapter 3

_We've all settled in now, little does everyone know they'll be settling here forever. No one has any idea do they? It makes me laugh just thinking about it. Anyways, I have to do something soon, I only have two weeks to get them all and how I do it will not be easy. Got to get to the plan, get to the plan fast._

"Tweek, come here!" Butters yelped. Him and Tweek were sledging on the inner mountain, just above the hotel.

"I... I don't wanna." Tweek stuttered and Butters began to bash his knuckles together angrily.

"Well, if you can't handle this hill, then why did you suggest going sledging in the first place?" He asked.

"Because... Because..." Tweek started. "I don't like being y... yelled at."

"...I'm sorry." Butters sighed and walked towards him. "I get it, I have to go through it every day with Eric. He just says 'hey Butters, you _will_ dress up like a flower and dance around for youtube' or 'listen Butters, you _are_ going to help me inject Kyle with aids, whether you like it or not'. And guess who always gets blamed? Me."

"Well, it's not my fault I can't swim." Tweek blurted out and Butters' eyes grew wide.

"You can't swim?" Butters face broke into a smile and then he started to laugh hysterically, but soon cut off. "Oh... Wait I can't swim either."

"You can't?" Tweek's voice sounded brighter now.

"No, because one time I got in the water, and my wiener..." He began, but then looked stupidly at the ground. "Yeah, my dad never told me to talk about that again." Tweek looked at him weirdly but then shook it off. He was not much like the other guys they were staying with, and took Butters' stupidity within his stride, maybe because they were so similar; both very insecure about things and let other people push them around... particularly Cartman. The boys then just sat in the snow, looking dully at their sledges.

* * *

Meanwhile in the spa, things were heating up rather than cooling down in the snow. Bebe, Clyde, Stan and Wendy were having a wrestling match in the swimming pool, with Bebe and Wendy play-fighting each other from their boyfriends' shoulders. Token was texting his girlfriend Nichole, who couldn't come on the vacation as she had gone to Egypt with her parents and Kenny and Craig were having a pointless conversation whilst Kenny kept his eyes on Wendy's crotch.

"Dude, my eyes are over here." Craig clicked his fingers in Kenny's face.

"Yeah but _she's_ over there." He cocked his head over to the swimming pool.

"That's your best friend's girlfriend..." Craig reminded him.

"Yeah, she's still hot." Kenny muffled from his parka, whilst trying to eat a bread roll. "Seriously, check out those tits when she is thrown up and down, that bikini gets a ten out of ten from me."

"...I'm gay." Craig droned.

"Awesome." Kenny gave him a thumbs up absent mindlessly and turned back to staring at the action over in the pool. Craig rolled his eyes and walked over to where Token was sitting.

"Hey dude." Craig slumped in a chair next to Token's lounger. "What's up?"

"Well..." He closed his phone. "I was skyping Nichole, but now she has to go look at some pyramids and play in the sand."

"Does she really?" Craig raised his eyebrows.

"...I don't know, I've never been to Egypt, I don't know what you do there." Token sighed.

"Really, you?" Craig laughed. "I thought you'd been everywhere, you have the cash for it."

"Nah, we'd rather just spend it on a new recording studio or pool or something." Token winked.

"Haha." Craig huffed. "Talking about pools though, what is the point of having an outdoor pool, as well as an inside one in this place. It snows all the time, do they really think anyone's gonna go in there?"

"I don't know." Token shrugged. "There's the twenty days of summer, maybe it's used for that." Twenty days of summer was an occasion in South Park, when the snow melted for just twenty days in early July and gave the people of South Park a short summer month to celebrate 4th of July with relatively warm weather. Although, every year, something always went wrong.

"Eh, I'm pretty sure they don't even have _twenty_ days of summer up here." Craig stared out of the window at the thick snow covering the ground. "Besides, do people even come here in the summer? It looks kinda deserted to me."

Token just shrugged. "Ask Stan, he's the only one who knows anything about this place. Hey Stan!" He called over to where Stan was getting out of the pool, his hair was wet and he was lifting Wendy out of the pool, whilst laughing hysterically. When he noticed Token waving he plonked Wendy down on the floor and they both jogged over to him.

"What's up?" Stan grinned.

"Craig wants to know whether this place is for rent generally or whether this is a one off." Token asked whilst staring down at his phone screen.

"Oh, this place went out of business ages ago." Stan replied. "They were going to do something else with it actually, turn it into a leisure centre or something years ago, but it never got done, so now it just sits here."

"So no one ever uses it?" Craig questioned and Stan shook his head.

"Nope, all for us." He smiled and pointed towards the door. "I was just gonna go get us some juice, you want some."

"Yeah sounds good." They both nodded and Stan began to walk away with Wendy following his lead.

"Kenny, you want some juice?" Stan asked as he wandered past.

"Yeah, I want some juice." He droned, now not taking his eyes off Bebe, who was still in the swimming pool. "I want some juice real bad..." He began licking his lips and Wendy slapped his head lightly as she walked past.

"Quit staring monkey." She grinned. "She's not yours to stare at." At last Kenny moved his eyes away from Bebe and focused his attention on Wendy instead. "...Or me." She held her hand up as she walked out through the door to the kitchen and Kenny pulled out his dirty magazine from under the lounger.

"Yeah, this'll do me, for the time being." He said to himself and opened the magazine casually.

* * *

Stan and Wendy entered the kitchen and Stan began to pour orange juice into glasses. His girlfriend eyed him up from the kitchen table and gave a large sigh.

"Just orange juice?" Wendy asked Stan's surprised expression.

"Yeah why?" He questioned.

"Oh nothing, just thought you would spice it up a bit." She giggled. "Get this vacation on the road."

"You're right." He winked and pulled a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard. At that moment Kyle and Cartman walked in, still bickering with each other about random crap. Stan looked up when they walked in and they both stopped in their tracks. "...Why is Cartman soaking wet?"

"Kyle pushed me in the swimming pool!" Cartman retorted like a little kid.

"The outdoor one?" Stan raised his eyebrows. "I thought the cover was on."

"Dude, Cartman can break through anything!" Kyle pointed out but Stan was still frowning.

"...What happened to your clothes?" Wendy piped up.

"...Cartman set fire to them." Kyle sighed. "After I pushed him in the pool."

"So, it looks like you owe me fifty bucks for a new swimming pool cover and you'll have to pay Kyle for the clothes you ruined." Stan smirked at Cartman, he was always on Kyle's side.

"Hey!" Cartman yelled. "He got my clothes wet!"

"...They will dry." Wendy sighed and walked out the room. Kyle followed, glaring at Cartman before he left.

"I'll get you back." Kyle muttered. "Now, I've got to go and change." He then left the room and Cartman ran after him, yelling about how no one could beat his ideas. Stan just shrugged, picked up the juice tray and walked back out to the spa.

* * *

"So you wanna go sledging?" Butters piped up after a long silence. "The sledges aren't doing much use just sitting there."

" I dunno," Tweek hyped. "It might be too much pressure on me..."

"You won't get hurt Tweek, what could seriously happen, you've been sledging before."Butters shook his head. "No one would think you were a proper South Park kid." To be fair, Tweek hadn't been born in South Park, he had been born in a coffee shop in New York and had moved here when he was five, as his parents thought the roads in the city would be too much pressure on a young child.

"Yeah but then Craig was waiting at the bottom to catch me." Tweek sighed.

"Well I could catch you, I could go wait at the bottom of this hill." Butters shrugged. "It's just a small one."

"Umm, well ok then, but you've got to promise you will." Tweek sounded panicked.

"I promise." Butters reassured him and then disappeared down the hill. Tweek gulped and then took a seat on his sledge. He heard Butters' voice from below, calling him to come down and before he could fluster over anything anymore, he pushed off with his feet and began pelting down the hill. The screams were penetrating and echoed all over the mountain faces.

"You said it was a small hill!" Tweek yelled, not being able to stop himself. He continued to scream like a girl until he bumped into someone and came to an abrupt halt. "Oh, Butters you did catch me, I thought for a second there you wouldn't..." He trailed off as his eyes adjusted to what was in front of him. "Wait, what, what are you doing?"

The last scream was the worst, the horrified scream, the spine chilling shriek that filled the mountains with danger. But even though it was the loudest scream, no one could hear, for where Tweek now lay, the mountains surrounded him in a kind of ditch and so any noise just bounced off the rocks around him. The ear piercing cry had now come to a halt, and so had Tweek's life, as the shadow standing in front of him, skulked back up the hill. Back towards the hotel.


	6. Chapter 4

_The first victim is now plunged into darkness. Tweek's dead, he's gone and no I do not regret it. Just hearing that scream of horror was like candy to me, so sweet. That's one down and nine to go, I have thirteen days left, that's plenty of time to get through the rest of them. But the more I kill, the closer they will get to finding out it is me. I better think of something, I will think of something, no one can stop me from doing this. No one._

"Ok, Kyle very funny." Cartman yelled down the corridor. "Nice one yeah, like I wouldn't figure that out."

"Dude, what are you doing?" Clyde opened his bedroom door suddenly and glared at the fat lump standing at the other end of the hallway.

"What am I doing?" Cartman spat, beginning to walk towards Clyde. "Well, I didn't wet the bed, that's for certain."

"...Ok, where the fuck did that come from?" Clyde shook his head.

"Awh, come on baby, he's not worth it." Bebe's quiet voice could be heard from inside the bedroom. "We're in the middle of something here Cartman, go jump out a window or something."

"Oi." Cartman bellowed. "I am not falling for that one again. Not like the time Kyle told me to jump off the roof. Although I did become ultimately famous and powerful after that with my psychic powers."

"No you didn't." Stan moaned as he opened his door. "You faked it."

"Did not." Cartman denied.

"Ok, we're not going through this again." Wendy stepped out into the hallway. "We already had this discussion six years ago and it's three O' clock in the morning, so go back to bed."

"Yeah and some of us are trying to get it on in here." Bebe stormed out of her room, wearing a robe.

"Well, I'm not moving from here until someone tells me who stuck my hand in the bowl of water." Cartman crossed his arms and Bebe, Wendy, Clyde and Stan all moved their eyes slowly to Cartman's pants.

"...That's the second time this holiday." Stan droned.

"You need medical help, you're in college dude." Clyde shook his head.

"I didn't... I don't..." Cartman started. "Fine, you can say that but I am just going to stand here, until someone tells me who put my hand in the water." He slumped down in the rocking chair at the end of the hallway. "In fact I know who it is so I just need someone to hand Kyle over to me and then you can all go to bed."

"Ugh get him yourself." Wendy batted her hand at him and then wandered back into her room.

"I can't his doors locked." Cartman shouted.

"Well that's your problem." Bebe retorted and then both doors slammed, leaving Cartman alone in the hallway. For a second he remained silent, giving everyone else a chance to think it may be over, but Cartman wasn't finished until he had got what he wanted.

"...Kyleeeeeeeee. Kyleeeeeeeeeeeee. Kyleeeeeeeeeeee." He began to whine down the corridor like a possessed burglar alarm. "Kyleeee Kyleeeee."

"Oh shut up fat ass, it was me." Craig yelled as he swung his door open. "Go ahead and punch me and then we can go to bed."

"...It was you?" Cartman frowned.

"Yes." Craig sighed.

"You put my hand in a bowl of water and stuck jelly beans in my ears?" He continued.

"Yes and..." Craig started. "Wait, I didn't do the jelly bean thing."

"My bad!" Kyle called from inside his room.

"Arg." Cartman growled.

"Now I got you back, I guess it's a draw." Kyle shouted, still inside his room.

"No." Cartman glared at his closed door. "Cartman doesn't play to draw. Cartman plays to win." He then kicked his own door open and marched inside, slamming it behind him, leaving Craig standing alone in the hallway with his eyebrows raised.

"Ok what is going on?" Butters muttered, quietly coming out of his room so as to not trigger Cartman's appearance again.

"I don't know, I was trying to sleep." Craig sighed. "I'm already pissed off enough with Tweek, getting one of his 'family members' to call up and say he'd come home, they wouldn't even say who it was. He's such a baby sometimes, seriously, can't even last one day on his own."

"...Yeah, sorry about that, I seriously didn't see him go anywhere." Butters told him. "We were just sledging and then I don't know where he went, disappeared."

"Well, he obviously went home." Craig sulked. "How he's gonna manage living alone I don't know."

"Well, he'll be living with you won't he?" Butters shot him a glance and Craig raised his eyebrows again.

"Yeah, I really don't know anymore." He replied. "Sometimes he's just too much to handle." He looked at the floor and frowned, obviously surprised by what he had just said. "...Anyway, goodnight Butters."

"Goodnight." He waved and they both headed back into their rooms.

Back in Wendy and Stan's room, the couple were lying in bed reading, unlike the sprightly couple opposite them who were clearly having sex. Wendy and Stan's relationship could sometimes be childlike and fun but seeing as they had been going out a lot longer than the other couple, they were often a lot more mature.

"I still don't really understand why Tweek left." Wendy shrugged and turned to look at Stan. "I mean, he didn't give us any warning, his suitcase is still here and everything."

"Yeah I know, but he's weird." Stan sighed. "It's probably best if we don't bother him, just take his stuff back when we leave."

"I guess, we just have to enjoy the vacation as much as possible." Wendy nodded.

"As much as possible?" Stan repeated. "This is going to be awesome, it isn't a prison camp or slaughter house Wendy!"

"Yeah, yeah I know, today was great babe. Thanks." She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "And I'll thank you on behalf of everyone else as well seeing as they haven't got round to the yet."

"You see Token, I tried getting a girlfriend in fourth grade and you know, that didn't work out... So then there was that Jenny chick in middle school, but when she didn't take the pill, I ended up drifting away from her... Don't want to get involved with that at this age." Kenny was warbling on in the room next door. "Besides her name rhymed with mine so it would never work out anyway."

"Mmm." Token mumbled from under his sheet, he was sharing a room with Kenny and was clearly regretting it.

"I mean seriously, I always imagined ending up with a hot blonde, who had a name like Barbie or... Baby..." Kenny trailed off.

"Bebe?" Token replied.

"No, _Baby_." Kenny corrected him as if Token was bothered about what he was whittling on about. "It has to start with a 'B' and then the surname could be like 'Jones' or 'Jameson' or something."

"Mmm." Token repeated.

"So that the initials could be 'KM for BJ' or something." Kenny sniggered at his work. "That'd sound good right?"

"You wanna know what I think?" Token sighed.

"Yeah." Kenny shrugged. "It's a good idea isn't it?"

"Yeah and you know what else is a good idea?" Token muffled from under his sheet.

"What?" Kenny looked up enthusiastically.

"Going to sleep." He stated and Kenny looked disappointed.

"Oh well... Ok then." He agreed. "But can I keep my torch on, I want to carry on drawing."

"You were drawing?" Token finally emerged from the covers and Kenny nodded and held up his piece of artwork. "Oh no... You were drawing what you were telling me about?" He shielded his eyes.

"Yes." Kenny nodded and then saw his expression. "Well I ran out of magazines, I gotta have something to keep me entertained."

"...There's eighty six rooms in this place and nine other people I could have shared a room with." Token shook his head. "And yet I chose to share with you." Kenny looked a little hurt by this and slowly put his drawing down.

"Sorry..." Kenny trailed off and then dropped his immature little kid persona. "It's just that... I feel kind of lonely. I was serious about the girlfriend thing and that's why I act like this. I don't really want to act like some immature hungry teenage whore, but I'm just making up for what I could have." Kenny finished and Token looked apologetic.

"Look dude, I'm sorry." He smiled. "If you really want someone, I'm sure Nichole has some cheerleading friends I could hook you up with?"

"Yeah, like they'd want me now!" Kenny rolled his eyes. "I'm such a jerk."

"...Well yeah sometimes." Token nodded and Kenny looked taken aback. "But seriously, deep down everyone knows you're a good guy, you just need to show it a bit more." Kenny just nodded and sat there. "Now, do you want to go to bed."

"Yeah ok." Kenny sighed and then flicked the light off, then the room was plunged into darkness.

Two doors to the right, Bebe and Clyde were in full swing of their evening, but it wasn't turning out the way they had expected.

"Babe..." Bebe muttered, whilst kissing her boyfriend. "Do you love me?" There was a silence whilst they continued making out and Clyde didn't reply. "Honey, I said... do you love me?" She insisted, but didn't stop kissing him.

"...Sure." Clyde replied after a long silence and Bebe slowly pulled away.

"Sure?" She repeated, pulling a face.

"Yeah... sure I love you." Clyde shrugged and Bebe climbed off the bed and stood up. She tried to look as calm as possible whilst she smoothed down her lacy leotard, something she was wearing especially for this evening.

"Um..." She tried to crack a laugh. "That doesn't sound very convincing."

"Why not?" He pulled out a juice carton from his bag and punctured it with a straw before loudly slurping on it. He stared down at the juice whizzing up the straw and began to laugh.

"Clyde!" Bebe yelled, he looked angry now and he looked up slowly to make eye contact with her.

"...Yeah?" He sighed, taking the straw out of his mouth.

"What's going on?" Bebe inquired, crossing her arms and he raised his eyebrows.

"...Nothing." He shook his head. "Just drinking some juice..." Before he could lift the carton back up to his mouth, Bebe tossed it out of his hand and it went flying across the room and spurted up the wall. "...Is that necessary?"

"Yes. Yes it is." Bebe shouted and slumped back onto the bed.

"Look babe I'm sorry, I just-" He began.

"Oh that's ok!" Bebe shook her head and jumped back on top of him again, to resume making out. Clyde looked slightly shocked but relieved at the same time, but he didn't say anything, he established it was best to shut his mouth now, apart from kissing Bebe.

In Kyle's room, the light was off but a single candle lit the room. He was sitting on his bed, playing with the lighter and thinking up what he was going to do to get Cartman back again. The funny thing was, Kyle knew he could not beat Cartman, he always won, got his own way, but Kyle was ready for a fight, he wanted to teach Cartman a lesson. Give him what he deserved. His eyes drifted slowly to his bedside table where a rope was coiled around his mirror. This revenge was going to be the greatest of all...


	7. Chapter 5

_I am running out of time, I only have eleven days left now. They however, all have less than that. But they do not know it, it is funny, how they are so unaware of what is going to happen. I cannot wait. I cannot wait until they get what they deserve..._

"Okay, who wants breakfast?" Wendy called from the kitchen, where her, Stan, Bebe and Clyde were already tucking in.

"Is there bacon?" Cartman inquired moodily as he entered the kitchen and eyed up the girl's bowls of fruit warily.

"Yeah, just for you." Wendy sighed and offered him a plate stacked high with sausage, fried egg and bacon.

"...Why do I have the biggest breakfast?" Cartman snapped. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Oh, well then would you like to swap it for a smaller portion?" Wendy raised her eyebrows.

"No, this is mine." He simpered and began to snaffle up his bacon at the table.

"So guys, what are we going to do today?" Token asked as he entered with Kenny.

"Don't know." Stan shrugged. "It's kind of boring hanging here all the time.

"Yeah but we can make it fun." Kenny chimed in.

"How?" Craig muttered as he sat down at the dining table, opposite Cartman. Clearly, he was fed up of not having Tweek around and it was making him less-enthusiastic than ever.

"What about hide and seek?" Bebe giggled and Clyde gave her a weird look.

"Hide and seek?" Him and Stan repeated and she nodded excitedly.

"Actually yeah..." Wendy nodded. "This house is massive, it would be awesome."

"Um... Alright..." Stan frowned. "We can play that at some point."

"What about blind man's buff?" Kyle added as he appeared in the doorway. He had obviously been listening to the conversation outside the door.

"Seriously you guys?" Craig jumped up from his chair. "What are we? Three years old?"

"Yeah, why are playing children's party games on our college spring break?" Cartman smirked, almost having finished his breakfast.

"Look, Craig." Clyde put his hand on his shoulder. "We know you miss Tweek-"

"I don't '_miss_' him." Craig retorted. "I don't care, I just wished he had told me he was going home."

"Did you talk to Butters?" Stan asked, frowning.

"Yeah, he said he didn't see him leave either. He just disappeared apparently." Craig shrugged. "But I got a text from his parents saying he was at home, so I know he's ok."

"Speaking of Butters, where is he?" Kenny asked.

"That's good Craig, I'm glad he's alright." Butters stood in the doorway, knocking his knuckles together.

"Oh hey Butters." Kenny jumped at the quick response. "Goodnight's sleep?"

"Very good thanks." Butters smiled pathetically and poured himself some cereal.

"At least some people slept well." Kyle sighed and shot a glare at Cartman.

"Why, didn't _you_ sleep?" Token asked him.

"Nope." Kyle shook his head. "Someone filled my mattress with frozen peas and then they melted."

"Wow, that person must be really clever." Cartman sniggered. "If I ever find that person, I'll give them a high five."

"High five you're face then fatass." Kyle spat and Cartman raised his eyebrows then left the room.

"He giving you a hard time huh?" Stan guessed and Kyle nodded.

"Like you wouldn't believe." He replied. "But I'll get him back, you just wait and see."

"Shit don't do anything too drastic Kyle." Kenny mumbled. "We don't want to turn this place into a hospital."

"I won't." Kyle spat and then traipsed out of the kitchen, following Cartman's footsteps.

"Mahn, he's really on edge at the moment isn't he?" Clyde laughed, putting his arm around Bebe.

"Do you know why Stan?" She piped up. "You are his best friend after all."

"Yeah well..." He trailed off, eyeing up Bebe. "I think he's just... hung up a certain person that's all."

"What like Tweek?" Craig frowned, looking up.

"Yeah... Like that..." He replied and then left the kitchen.

* * *

"Ok, so does everyone know the rules of this game?" Wendy yelled, clapping her hands excitedly. Everyone had gathered in the main hall; Craig and Clyde were slouched on couches, Kyle and Cartman were mouthing off to each other in the corner of the room, Token was texting on his phone, most likely to Nicole. Stan had cracked open a beer and was sipping it whilst sitting in a rocking chair and Kenny was sitting cross legged on the floor, standing directly beneath both Bebe and Wendy and catching a glimpse up their skirts every now and then. Butters however, was nowhere to be seen.

"The rules of the game?" Clyde slurred. "It's bloody hide and seek, I think everyone here had a childhood."

"Yes Clyde, whatever, just checking." Wendy rolled her eyes and then turned to whisper to Bebe. "Please can you talk to your boyfriend about his attitude?"

"He's not my boyfriend." Bebe hissed in her ear and Wendy raised her eyebrows.

"Course..." She nodded. "It must have been Kenny and Token knocking that headboard around last night then huh?" Wendy simpered and then walked off to sit on Stan's lap.

"Uh!" Bebe objected loudly. "Maybe your boyfriend should sound proof these walls. Sorry to be an inconvenience!"

"Not my fault, this isn't my place." Stan shrugged and Bebe stormed out into the corridor.

"BUTTERS? GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" Bebe's voice echoed round the entire building.

"Kyle give me my phone!" Cartman objected, and all heads turned to where the two were fighting in the corner of the room.

"Oh why? Were you in the middle of texting mommy?" Kyle sniggered and Cartman went red with rage.

"No!" He retorted and Kyle began flicking through his contacts.

"Oh right, must have been a hot girl then." He grinned. "Let's see; you have KFC on speed dial, your mom, Butters' home number, the pizza place. Oh and 'Fat Institutions LTD.'"

"No I do not!" Cartman yelled. "I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" He paused for a second whilst Kyle raised his eyebrows. "...And the fat institution thing is from last year... I stopped going."

"Oh bad ass." Kyle nodded and chucked his phone back at him. "Go on then, continue texting your mother in peace."

"I'm not talking to my mom." Cartman whined. "Not even Butters does that at this age."

"Hi folks!" Butters chirped as he entered the room, an enraged Bebe following behind him. "Sorry, I was just skyping my mom on the toilet."

"...I take that back..." Cartman muttered and Wendy leapt of Stan's lap, ready to start the action.

"Ok ok, Butters we don't need the graphic detail." Wendy sighed.

"Oh good, my eyes are in luck once more." Kenny licked his lips as he peered up Wendy's skirt. Both Bebe and Wendy pulled them down in disgust and Clyde gave him a glare.

"Right... Who wants to count first?" Bebe asked and Token raised his hand slowly.

"If it means I get to sit here for one hundred seconds longer, then I will." Token sighed and everyone stood up.

"Ok, everyone run off and hide then!" Bebe exclaimed. "Token cover your eyes!"

"Huh, like I haven't heard that before." He winked at her and everyone looked confused.

"Anyway..." Stan eased. "Let's go!" People began to rush out of the room and silence instantly fell on the hall. The only noises to be heard were the grandfather clock and Token's slow continuous counting.

"23, 24, 25..." He chorused, in time with the clock, as if it was a metronome, counting down time, precious time. "37, 38, 39..." The sun went in behind the large, arched windows and the room was suddenly plunged into shadow. A figure makes its way across the room to draw the curtains, hiding any light that could still enter. "71, 72, 73..." The rustling from the floors above stops, as everyone finds their hiding place, except for one person, who is standing still in front of Token's closed eyes. "98, 99, 100..." Token's eyes open slowly and he frowns at the sight in front of him. "Oh... Found you-"

"Ready or not? Here I come." The voice growls and an ear piercing scream echoes around the silent hall. For a few seconds only, before the room become silent again...


End file.
